Dec | 2017
The Best Holiday Gift you can Give your Child is likely the hardest to give
Tags: adolescents, assessment, behavioral health evaluation, career assessment, children, emotional behavioral evaluation, general psychological assessment, holiday gift, maturity, parent-child relationship, parenting, psychological vital signs, relationships
The gift children and adolescents crave the most – are the hungriest for – does not come in a box or with a bow. Nor does it have a screen, believe it or not.
The gift I speak of is the gift of a parent who is willing to constantly and earnestly ask their child one simple question – in an open way – where they make themselves vulnerable to their child or children: “What can we do to have a better relationship?”
You may be amazingly surprised by what you hear. I would suggest you keep your mouth closed as much as possible to maximize the chances your child feels like they have an opportunity to give their input thoroughly.
To me, in a world that is increasingly cold, distant, transient, more about “connecting” than relating, more transactional rather than interpersonal, the frequency of a real relationship is so low they are nearly on the extinction list.
By giving the ONE GIFT ABOVE ALL to your child – the relationship gift – you remind your child that relationships are to be cultivated and shepherded – even at the expense of their ego (that part of us tending toward narcissism) – is the most important thing in the world. Modeling to them how they can “leave their ego at the door” by leaving your ego at the door is also a Magical Gift. You are cultivating profound maturity and making them psychological millionaires.
If you make yourself vulnerable to them, it will teach them one of the most valuable Life Lessons: by keeping their ego in check they will climb to higher peaks of maturity and will grow old around a much richer set of relationships. In short, you will teach them what so few people these days understand: Relationships matter more than anything else in this world.
This holiday season I invite all you parents whose chief wish is for your child to be happy to recognize the power you have to give THE ONE GIFT ABOVE ALL. A gift that will not just make them happy, but truly joyful.
All parents have equal access to this priceless yet free of cost gift.
The question is, are you ready to give it?…Your answer may allow you to give gift your child will never forget!
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